📌 Brooklyn Gets a Q-Tip: Mayor Adams Sends in the Quality Clean-Up Crew!
📌 “Parkageddon” Hits NYC! 300K Spots Poof

The Nibble

🚨 Brooklyn Gets a Q-Tip: Mayor Adams Sends in the Quality Clean-Up Crew! 🚨

Call it the mopocalypse or the Great Scooter Scrubdown of 2025 — either way, Mayor Eric “No-Nonsense” Adams and NYPD’s Commissioner Jessica Tisch are doubling down on “Q-Teams” — squads of peace-keeping pros now deployed in every single Brooklyn precinct. These Quality of Life warriors are on a mission: no more abandoned cars as modern art installations, rogue scooters buzzing like wasps, or sidewalks turned into backyard BBQs 🍖 + 💨. Coney Island boardwalk? Clean. Flatbush side streets? Cleared. Brooklyn? On its way to being the city’s most livable borough (with slightly fewer random e-bikes crashing into your aunt's shopping cart).

Since the pilot launched in April, Q-Teams have answered over 23,400 calls — that’s more than some people answer group texts. In Brooklyn alone, they’ve already impounded 55 vehicles and captured 16 wild mopeds 🛵 like it's Pokémon Go. But don’t worry — this isn’t just a tow-fest. Officers are trained in chill: many issues get solved with conversation, not cuffs. Whether it’s a sketchy smoke shop or a street that sounds like Coachella at midnight, these teams are restoring peace — one complaint at a time. So go ahead, Brooklyn — exhale. Your neighborhood’s got a Q-Team now 😌💪. For more info click here

🚗💥 “Parkageddon” Hits NYC! 300K Spots Poof! 💨🌱

Uh-oh, New Yorkers—grab your steering wheels and say a prayer. The City Council is coming for your precious curb real estate! A new bill called “Intro. 1138” (but let’s be honest, it sounds more like a robot uprising) could evaporate up to 300,000 parking spots across the five boroughs. Why? To make room for “universal daylighting” — a fancy term for turning corners into planter jungles and bike rack obstacle courses 🚲🌿💡. Supporters say it’s all about safety, but opponents say it’s all about headaches… and circling the block 47 times. 😤

Council Member Julie Won, fed up with tragic accidents, is leading the charge with what critics call a “one-size-fits-all parking purge.” Picture it: no more squeezing your car into that sweet spot right at the corner. Instead, get ready for a forest of granite boulders and decorative ferns guarding intersections 🌳🪨. The plan will cost a cool $3 billion (with a "B"!), and DOT’s like, “Y’all sure?” They fear without hardened barriers, drivers will just speed up and make tighter turns like they’re in a Grand Theft Auto side mission. 🎮💨

Still, the bill has 27 sponsors and is revving toward passage faster than an F train skipping your stop. Mayor Adams might veto it, but if not… prepare for battle, Brooklyn. Because if this thing passes, you’re gonna need GPS, binoculars, and divine intervention to find parking in Midwood. Or hey—just move to Hoboken, where apparently people don’t die and parking is a utopia. 😇🚦🅿️

🤔What's up👀

🎬 Events 👋

Agra D’Pirka Flatbush | Knesses Bais Avigdor | 1720 Ave J (bet. E17th & E 18th) | 10:40 am

Monday’s

8/11 | 10:40 am | Halacha & Aggadah | R’ Yosef Chaim Perlman

Tuesday

8/12 | 11:00 am | Shiur Klali B’hilchos Bishuel Akum | | R’ Reuven Scheinberg

Wednesday

8/13 | 10:40 am | Bal Tashchus | R’ Yakov Aron Prosky

Thursday

8/14 | 10:30 am | The ramifications of “le’alter” in regard to Broer | R’ Bentzion Gips

11:30 am | Parsha with Meforchim | R’ Yerachmiel Frankel

👩For men & women 👨 Irgun Shiurai  | Bostoner B.M. | 2822 Avenue J (Corner East 29) | 9:00 pm

Monday 8/11 | Ask the Rabbi | R’ Moshe Meyer Weiss
Tuesday 8/12 | Midos Tovos | R’ Yakkov Bender
Wednesday 8/13 | Putting Ourselves Only In The Hands of Hashem | R’ Aaron Fasin
Monday 8/18 | Summer Dinner Event | Shidduchim | 7:00 pm
Tuesday 8/19 | Our Emunah and the Emunah of the Hostages | R' Mordechai Becher
Wednesday 8/20 | New Kashrus Findings | R’ Yosef Eisen
Monday 8/25 | Life’s Unknown Faucet of Bracha | R' Fischel Schachter
Tuesday 8/26 | The Shofer is Callin But Are We Listening | R’ Yisroel Grossberg
Wednesday | The Single Greatest Sugulah To Succeed on Yom Hadin | R’ Eytan Feiner

Monday 8/18/2025

👨For Men only 👨| Shidduchim | Irgun Shiurai Torah | Young Israel of ave K | 7:00 pm

Sunday 8/10, 8/17 and 8/24

Green Meadows Farm | Aviator Sports Center | 11:00 am – 5:00 pm | admission: $14 per person (all ages 2 and above)

Tuesday 9/9/2025

Lev L’Achim Yeshiva Rabbi Chaim Berlin Alumni Asifa | MYRCB Mesivta High School - Bais Medrash | 1559 CIA | More info here

⌛Ongoing🗓️

Monday’s & Wednesday’s

AharoHaRav n Kahn Shlita | Shiur on Tehillim with Medrash and Meforshim | 10:40am | Kol Halashon 718-906-6400 press star (*) | Live stream click here.

Thursday’s

Parsha In-Depth with Meforshim | Rav Yerachmiel Frankel | Knesses Bais Avigdor | 1720 Avenue J (Btw E17 & E18) | 11:30 am

📖Learning and Cholent🍲😋 | Bet Shaul U'Miriam | 2208 Ave. S | 8:00-10:00pm🏆

📜 Mishmar | Agudah of Madison | 2122 Ave. S (Ave S & East 22) | 10:00 pm

📖Parsha Ha’Shavua | Rabbi Frand | Y.I. of Midwood | 1694 Ocean Ave | 9:00 pm

🚫 No sponsorship here - just cool, pure info for you! 😎 I'll always give you a heads-up when something is sponsored!

📰 Weather 🥸

☀️ Friday (Aug 8):
Mostly sunny with highs of 82°F (28°C) and a breezy low of 67°F (20°C).
🌿 Perfect for a Prospect Park walk or pretending your iced coffee counts as hydration.

🔥 Saturday (Aug 9):
Bright sun, highs at 84°F (29°C) — summer’s in full glow mode.
👒 Sunscreen, shades, and smug rooftop selfies highly recommended.

🥵 Sunday (Aug 10):
Scorch alert: a steamy 88°F (31°C) with a warm 72°F (22°C) night.
🔥 Brunch early, chill indoors after noon, and love your AC like family.

🌇 Monday (Aug 11):
Still sunny, still sweaty — 87°F (31°C) with a sticky 71°F (22°C) low.
🥤 Cue the Italian ices. It’s frozen treat survival time.

💡 Pro Tip:
Avoid the subway during peak sun unless you want to broil. Golden hour walks? Yes. Midday errands? No.

🙌 THANK YOU!

Subscribe

We appreciate you reading the J3M Report today! 🗞️
If something caught your eye 👀 or helped you out 👍, spread the word to someone in the J3M community 🏡🧑‍🤝‍🧑 — good info is meant to be shared! 📤

Have an event, fundraiser, store 🛍️ (with amazing service, deals, or products!), lecture 🎤, or production 🎬 or anything else you think is of interest that you want to share? Email us at newsletter@thej3mreport.com

Our newsletter? 📰 Brought to you by the magic of ChatGPT’s AI 🤖✨

For sponsorship opportunities please contact us at newsletter@thej3mreport.com